SAPPHIRES

by La Guerre

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1.
02:23
2.
04:07
3.
02:42
4.
03:24
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02:33
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8.
02:31
9.
03:21
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11.
02:53

about

For Jason Grant, who taught me everything I didn't know I should learn. My biggest regret is not taking the time to show you the results, and I would give anything to share a whiskey with you tonight.

credits

released January 20, 2015

All songs written by Katlyn Conroy
Album art by May Xiong
Producer/Engineer/Bass: Joshua Browning
Percussion: Beau Bruns, Chris Brower
Guitar/Additional Vox: Charles Calhoun, Gavin Snider
Trombone: Joshua Landau
Additional Vox: Will Weinstein

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La Guerre Lawrence, Kansas

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Track Name: Matthew
Matthew, son of a bitch who
stripped you down on his couch
his wandering mouth, so quiet now
and all that booze won't take the blame for you
and how all the way home you kept the words
tied to your tongue and never loosened them, not once

And on the day the tornado came
he went to chase it by the lake.
But you, your niece and nephew stayed
and almost died from a baby gate
that blocked your way.

And as the clouds began to break
the insulation fell like rain
but looked like snow, your hair a mane
tears on your face, the children safe.
You almost hoped he died that day
but back he came.
Track Name: Favored
I'm hungry, but know
yet another hour to feed the tone.
Til dawn we make
tapping tongue to tongue a remorse code puzzle game.
When I give out with a desert canyon mouth
it will be in your favor for fear of the danger
of causing you the drought.

Fuck the morning, fuck my memories,
they awaken distraught thoughts in me.
No stress relief exists til i'm relieved of this, of all of it.
To live in you favor, a chain on an anchor
it weakens never, drowns forever, knows no better.

Bot sorrow echoes low.
It carries very slow,
but it arrives to sea salt eyes.
Forget the fear festering here,
it'll catch you dry.
Track Name: Deadbolt
Mostly, I'm just killing time while looking in the mirror,
when discovering that proof of time is gradually appearing on my face.
There's shadows forming like rain puddles in a storm,
yet I had no idea that they were forming.

And when I'm staring at myself, i'm just pretending that it's you,
and that you know that I exist,
can't comprehend the hell that's waiting here for you.
I always used to think that I was kind of sweet,
now that I know that i'm a bitch, i'll just give into being lonely.

'Cause my key's stuck in the deadbolt,
and my ring's still in that motel 8 in Omaha
and I hope that maid's enjoying it, my finger's finally used to it
this weightlessness that makes my hand raise way too fast
when I gesture goodbye.
Track Name: Any Other
Where you are, it wears off
when there are things to do without you
but it isn't often, is it awful when my thoughts
are coming through?
My small talk is fucking blue when I am too.

And it's your fault, when it's not my fault.
When the blame lies with the weakest,
this is hopeless, i'll never notice when I
drop my guard, I'm a goner, i've got to be
stronger but I've got to get along.

But i'm still down to hang around
through and through
no such company as you in this world.
I know I ask a lot but i'm really truly not
wanting more than any other girl.

So I saw you at seventeen.
You saw me four years later with a chip
on my shoulder, a broken arm,
an engagement gone all wrong,
so much heavier and older
is that really what you want?
am i really what you want?
'cause you'll still be what I want
when you're over me and gone
no, i'm never moving on
only hope is i'll be stronger than I thought.
Track Name: Arrow and Bow
We speak in code
in a language neither one of us knows
every hello, hello, hello
and now I carry the tension of arrow and bow

all of the travel I have known
days tend to waste til you know they are gone
what little remains is the thing that has grown
when every thought that I think's not my own

and every film I devour has a commentator
from the past conversations that surfaced that surfaced so fast
yet the curious part, the real cause for alarm
isn't that I can't hear it again, but that it never left

if i'd any use in these arms, i'd extend them to you
but they've atrophied, are tied to me
and i've arranged this house the way I dreamed about
over 7 years spent shifting chairs around

just to sit myself back down
it's an excellent environment to hide from a crowd
so please don't point me out
the attention, it's far too loud

and every look i acquire comes with impotent words
from the past conversations that hurt, it hurts, it hurts
Track Name: She Kept You
Once you're through with me and mine
you can return to Houston where she used to write
you songs, she did you wrong and though she left you
you still belong to her, she kept you

now i can't make you be inspired
take your love for me much higher
'cause there wasn't that much room there to start
you were always my muse and I was always your good news
your charity but not your heart

let's make a pact, a secret act
so we can meet after we're dead
but if it really comes to that
i've got a feeling i'll be left

where I settled from the time
that i was old enough to grasp
that i dont get what i want
and if i do it never lasts

cause when she wrote to you she said
i'm ready for you to come back
and though you know that if you left
my eyes would drain, my chest would crack

im not sure you could endure it
i'm not so I could secure this
Track Name: The Mystery of my Bed
tried to move me along, but i wasnt done yet
the mystery of my bed has yet to be solved
or how i could find it, the who i hadnt met
the bar's full of drunken paths of their own

but if i never know
you will find my head my home

past assembly failed in the patching of my heart
in fairness the fragments were fickler than i thought
and the social exposure, you said it'd be better
to put yourself out there and risk being caught

if not i'll never know
what could have been my home
i know i'll never know

where will be my home

tried to move me along but i wasnt done yet
the mystery of my bed has yet to be solved
in fairness my troubles are all my own
Track Name: Two Sisters
Saasha Rose, you left your home
to ensure a surrogate.
Two sisters; we began our search
in the last place you had been.

And in the month and a half it took to get you back
to the broken home you left,
we papered the lamp posts and darkened the windows
of each corner you kept.
And wept for the lack of empathy and every past regret.
The young babe and the early grave,
and that eager pound of flesh.

When old enough you left your post,
a troubled trail towards the West Coast
and bore a child, a heart as wild
as the one who fled before.

Now estranged, two sisters caged
in the MidWest, unforgave.
The last hurrah, the final straw
was the insist of the chase.

And in the month and a half it took to get you back,
I could never have envisioned
the void, the space, the empty place
it would fill or the weight it would lift up.

Since August of the last time our two shadows cast,
I have hoped you lose--
you lose your way so we can bring you back.
Track Name: Everything
Pretty scared since the last time
I was unsure of what you were
thinking of, the changing gauging of your love.

I know I said it doesn't count;
the mileage of land between us.
But what If i'm just not enough?
The frequent sound through telephone;
you cannot know how my heart pounds.

The more I talk, the more I call
the less I feel that you respond.
It's not your fault, done nothing wrong
but I want you here, not Wichita.
And I can't stop, I try to stop
hurting so bad, knowing you're not.

But I will wait,
I want to know you're mine, you'll stay
when you come back, if you come back.
I think that you may not com back.
Tell me one reason of that you're unsure of our love
and I will try not to expect what was promised.
What's become of us?

And I'm dramatic, young, you know this from
the thousand songs I've written of you.
Take this as my love, it holds you close
no matter what.

There's nothing greater I can think of then
the pleasure that your company brings.
The many things that you bring.
You bring to me everything.

Pretty scared since the last time
i was unsure of what you were
thinking of, it's not your job
to reassure, but reassure me if you want.
Track Name: Cannonfire, Timpanis, Tires
Storm fronts bloom like flowers,
decay slowly as they die.
Clouds are building up like towers
reaching far into the sky.
I am small and coward and I burrow as to hide.
If they can't see me, they can't find me
they can try but i'm too tricky.

Boom like cannon fire, timpanis, tires;
they're screeching but won't stop in time.
Fading from white to cobalt and sapphires,
close my eyes.
Void of color and I shudder
like every camera shutter.
Cut them shorter, here's no order,
rhyme, or reason.
It's disorganized, or is it?
No real limit to the damage it brings with it,
or the offspring it delivers.
Ages quickly, rushing rivers.

And I can write, ponder, conspire
how to try and stoke their fire
but oh why would I desire such a thing?
When you're desperate just to live another day.
As I carefully consider my meaning.
Never been close to the best at explaining.
Track Name: Rabbits
And if one day I get pregnant;
a miraculous conception,
would you wish well for my baby if it wasn't you I came with?
What i've been through, I deserve it,
though I surely didn't earn it.
Years of treachery and perversion,
this idyllic conclusion.

But for now I will fake it,
getting by because I'm living.
Death's the clock in which I'm ticking.
Fuck it all, tomorrow's pending.
And I waiting on a list filled to the brim with old and rich.
Got broken limbs for them to fix.

But those sly foxes just won't have it
til they've eaten all the rabbits.
And it's hopeless and pretty fucking tragic, yeah
it's hopeless and hopeless and tragic.